"I can't.", my mind felt like it was being torn apart and thrown to opposite sides of the world.
"Well, then stop." Merlin's small voice was hard to hear over my ears ringing.
I relaxed and felt the world slowly pull back together and come in to focus.
"I'm sorry. I guess I'll just live out the rest of my days in peace." I pulled myself to my feet.
"You tried, I guess that counts for something, even if you didn't finish.", Merlin was extra distant and sharper with his words than usual, "Still, if you aren't going to try anymore then get out. I won't teach quitters and I can't stand your whining."
I glanced at the clock, "Master, it's almost two in the morning and I have no idea where I am. You can't make me go out there."
"How can a person who doesn't care about themselves expect others to care about them? You want to give up on life then so be it, I'm not going to have a corpse rotting up my home."
I felt the anger build up, "What do you mean I don't care? I'm here and I gave it my best shot! I'm not good enough!"
Merlin swooped toward me faster than a decrepit, old man should be able to move. His eyes filled with anger and his face hard and cold, "You don't care! If you cared even a little more than you would, sit down and endure the pain! 'I can't.' 'I won't.' These are words that shouldn't even enter your mind, because if you leave this house with out learning to do this, then you will DIE!"
"MAYBE I'M MEANT TO!", and with that I turned and walked out the door.
I stood there in the street, thinking about what Merlin had said. He was right, I was giving up. I didn't want to die, but the pain of entering the Soulscape was excruciating.
The Soulscape was the place within a person where their soul resides; somewhere between memory and reality. If one wanted to get rid of their soul, or find souls that were lost in The Void, they had to go there. Only a few people could. Merlin had said that only Warlocks and Spirit Persuaders could enter, and that warlocks needed powerful and ancient magic to make the journey. Magic that he didn't even have access to. The Soulscape is directly linked to The Void, or Limbo, and all I had to do to save myself was get all the souls that had made their home in my body in one place. Then expel the useless one.
I turned to go back in to the store and give it one more try, only to find a brick wall where the store had been. I ran to it and pounded with all my might, but it was very real and very solid brick. Merlin had left me. The guys had left me. My souls had left me. I was alone, completely alone.
And I was going to die.