Guilt. No matter how far you run, it's always there. I killed someone today and it wasn't an accident. I went there wanting him gone, and left before they could put him in a body bag. I didn't feel bad that he was gone. It was like a large zit had been removed from the side of the planet, but I did feel bad that I had been the one to do it. I had erased someone's life with my own hands.
According to Saba, she had stopped Ben from killing because she didn't want him to become a monster, so what was I? I looked at my hands, wet from the rain that hid my tears of guilt. Was this how life was supposed to be? Only a year ago I was sitting in my bedroom playing with Malibu Barbie, my biggest worry being whether or not Ken would be on time for their date. Now my hands were stained with the invisible mark of a cold-blooded killer.
I put my hands under the run-off from a nearby gutter. Maybe I was trying to remove the past few hours; the past few hours that I barely remembered but knew the outcome of.
"Nothing can remove what you're feeling." A voice spoke up from behind me, "Well . . . almost nothing."
I turned to see a girl with black hair smiling at me, "Who are you?"
"My name is Indigo, the Goddess of Guilt and you look like you need to relax." She reached out and touched my wrist.
The guilt and pain faded away instantly. I felt good, I'd done what was needed and it turned out okay. I'm not sure how or what I did, but it sure made me happy. I smiled at the girl and then she let go.
I fell to my knees as sickness overtook me. The guilt flooded back as if a dam had been removed. I wretched on the ground as the memories came crashing back. I shakily pulled myself to my feet.
"What if-" Indigo stared at me, "What if I could get rid of your guilt? You certainly have a lot and much of it involves an old nemesis of mine, as well as a good friend. I think it's safe to say that you have more burdens than a young girl as yourself should hold."
She touched my hair and put her hand on my shoulder, "I can remove it all. Erase all the guilt. If you want."
Tears burst forth, "I didn't mean to. He killed my Daddy and I was just so angry. I was very, very angry. I wouldn't have ever done it. Oh God, I killed him."
She wrapped her arms around me and held me close, "Lucky you found me then. Just say the word and it's gone."
I looked into her eyes, hypnotized by the depth of them.
"What do I have to do? Please help me.", and the world went black.
I woke up a while later wrapped in a blanket and staring at Nick's face.
"Crystal? Talk to me."
"Nick. Nick, I feel funny."
Then I leaned in and kissed him. A deep, long, guilt-free kiss.