Flashback 222: Death -Alex-

"John, just shut up and listen!" I glanced behind me at the open pit in the middle of the warehouse.

Deep inside that pit lay a massive creature looking to destroy everything I'd ever cared about. We'd gotten ourselves in over our heads but at the moment we were the only people who could do anything about it. John, Carl, and I were the only ones that knew; the only ones that would believe it. Moloch, the sun god wanted to destroy the city so that he could rise in power again.

"It's too crazy. Let's back out and come back with a plan." Carl spoke against it but he was holding John back; stopping him from stopping me.

I shook my head, "This IS the plan. He needs unwilling sacrifices or the spell will backfire. He needs people who don't want to die. This is the only way."

"Let me!" John struggled against his brothers hold, "Let me go in your place!"

The ground beneath us began to shake, pieces of wall bending and contorting as the weight of the roof combined with the growing heat wore down at it's strength. I stepped aside as a massive steel pole fell where I had been standing.

"You can't. It has to be me. These things are terrible, and must be fought. You and your brother are the only people that can do it." I turned toward the pit.

"That's a bullshit excuse! Why do you have such a death wish?! I thought you were smarter than that!"

I didn't tell him about the doctors visit. Maybe Carl would later on. I was dying anyway, I had maybe a month left. It was like I'd been conditioned for this role; created by god to serve specific purpose. My wife was a horrible mess over it. My daughter tried her best to stay strong, Emma was like that. A fighter and crazy smart, two things I couldn't have expected.

"See you guys later."

"Let me go, Carl!" I could hear him fighting behind me as I approached the pit, "Alex! I'll make sure of it! I swear on my life that we'll see each other again. I'll do whatever it takes!"

"I'll see you then." If John said he was going to bring me back then I wasn't sure if there was anything that could stop him. He'd break vows he made and beliefs he held without blinking to get what he wanted. It was almost scary, because there wasn't often a time when he didn't deliver.

But this was the real world, and it was cruel.

I dropped into the pit. As I felt my flesh burn away, I knew that I was screaming for help but it was involuntary. In my mind I knew that I had to do this. To save everyone I had to sacrifice myself. The pain was unbelievable and lasted for what seemed like ages.

And then . . . silence, painlessness, weightlessness, loneliness.

"Alex Kayser." A voice, followed by a person. A tall man wearing an expensive suit with eyes that seemed ageless.

I couldn't respond. I had no voice.

"Don't worry I know what you'd ask. I am Patrick Bernauw, better known as death to humans."

What could I do but listen?

"I have the important task of putting people where they belong. I do this sort of thing for everyone but most don't get a choice. You do."

A choice. To make. A choice, to make without a mind.

"You can either be dead and enter the nothingness. You'll no longer have anything; you'll cease to exist.  Or you could be changed into a Walking Soul and then you can help me save the entire world. Of course the only stipulation is that you cannot return to your realm. You'd be stuck within the Other Lands until I called you."

I'd already made my choice.

"The Other Lands run on a different time frame than normal reality, so if one of your friends does try to bring you back to life than four years to them could turn into thousands for you. You wouldn't age, but it is a really long time. Trust me. So be sure."

I was sure.

"Good choice. Be prepared."

The world flew into focus and I found myself high above the ground falling rapidly. Down below a huge battle was raging and I was headed right for the middle. I hit the ground so hard that it shook, but was unhurt. Probably because of Patrick, or rather Death. In front of me stood a man. He had dark hair and a scar that ran from his neck, through his left eye, and cut into his ear.

"Who the hell are you?!?"

"I'm Alex." I stood, my head spinning, "Where am I?"

"In the wrong place," He leaped around me and gunned down a creature that had a black bag over his head, "My name is Jason and you need to run or pick up a weapon."

I looked toward where he was shooting and my breath caught; Thousands of those black bagged creatures were flowing over the landscape toward us. I felt my panic rise and I turned to run.

What the hell was going on?

210: The Church of Guilt -Andrew-

The inside of the church was elegantly furnished. The windows had curtains of black and red striped velvet, and the carpet was a deep shade of purple.

"Please, if you don't mind taking off your shoes before you walk in." Sister Victoria turned and looked at me, "God doesn't like her floors getting dirty."

I knelt down and slipped off my shoes, "So you think God is a she?" I was trying to make small talk. Something about this place didn't feel right, it felt . . . familiar.

"I know she is. Right now she's out, but soon she'll be back." Sister Victoria motioned for me to follow, "Please come and sit with the other Sisters."

The hallway opened up into a massive room with a high ceiling, too high for it to be the same building I'd seen outside. I was right, something was off about this place. It was bigger on the inside.

"I'm sorry, I just realized that there's something I need to do." I turned to leave, but was stopped when I saw who was standing in the hallway. I couldn't move my feet. My palms grew sweaty and I began to shake uncontrollably. She walked over to me and ruffled my hair, her hand warm and comforting. Her touch made me feel the happiest I had been in a long time, but when she stopped I couldn't stay standing because of the power of the returning emotions.

She knelt down to look at my face, our noses almost touching, "Aw, you remember me. That's sweet."

She patted my head as she stood up. My vomit from the assaulting emotions would stain her rug. I felt a warmth flow from down my thigh and wasn't sure what it was until I realized that I'd wet myself.

"Victoria? Please, stand him up." Her voice wasn't as sweet as it had been. It was all business and anger.

I felt Sister Victoria's hands lift me to my feet, "Yes, ma'am."

Through blurry eyes I watched her turn and wait until I was standing on my own. I reached up and wiped my eyes.

"Indigo." I growled.

She smiled cutely, "Oh wow, you even remember my name! This is getting better and better."

"How could I forget? You trapped away the parts of me I cared for the most. All because Patrick told you to."

"Patrick never made me do anything. He is searching for something and I am doing my best to help him find it. That's what you do for people you love." She grinned, "What am I saying? You wouldn't understand, you sacrificed your wife and child's memories just to feel better."

I was quiet because she was right. I had done that, it was all my fault because I was weak.

"Please, don't be angry at me. We had some good times, I thought we were friends." She pouted, "Oh well, I didn't bring you here to chat. This is business. I need you to do something for me."

"Why would I do anything for you?"

She motioned to the sisters who were standing in a circle around me, "For one, you won't make it out of here alive. My sisters are incredibly obedient, all they need is the word. Also, if you happen to get out anyway, then rest assured that what you've gotten back will be gone in seconds. You'll go back to the family slaughtering fiend you once were."

She walked over to me and frowned, "So here's what you're going to do, you know those people you just met? The ones who were with your dear, departed friend Vincent? There were two brothers, a tall one and a not so tall one. A long time ago, we met and they had the most delicious guilt, but they were after my head. I had them right where I needed them to be. They're pain was exquisite . . . but then the small one did something unexpected. His will was . . . like something I'd never felt from a human before. He broke free and stole something of mine, rendering him and any of his direct blood relations unaffected by my charms." She stomped her foot, "That stupid, little, rotten . . . he is why I'm even here, I have much more important things to do. I saw his brother on the television and the small one isn't ever far behind."

"So you want me to steal it?" I frowned, "You do know that they HUNT your kind? They've killed a God right in front of my eyes. I hear that just the small one alone stood against 20 or so zombies and survived. Also, judging from the news, I think Patrick poked one of their buttons too much. Going against their band of misfits is not just stupid, it's retarded."

"I don't want you to steal it back. I don't care about it anymore. I want you to kill the brothers and, while it's touching that you're worried about me, I won't be the one doing it. You will, and you know all about them."

"No. I won't do as you ask. They have an incredible warlock, and even a clairvoyant. Do it yourself and see for yourself. I go in there looking to kill some of their crew and I'll be wiped out. They already hate me."

She touched my chin, making my knees crumple when she removed her fingers, "Oh Andrew, did you think I was asking? No, no . . . I didn't even say please."

"Please, you're killing me."

"I'm commanding you, kill the brothers and if you feel like being on my good side, then you'll bring back what they stole. If you can't . . . "

She smiled a devilish smile, "Then I'll ask the other you instead."

209: Rash Choices -Crystal-

Guilt. No matter how far you run, it's always there. I killed someone today and it wasn't an accident. I went there wanting him gone, and left before they could put him in a body bag. I didn't feel bad that he was gone. It was like a large zit had been removed from the side of the planet, but I did feel bad that I had been the one to do it. I had erased someone's life with my own hands.

According to Saba, she had stopped Ben from killing because she didn't want him to become a monster, so what was I? I looked at my hands, wet from the rain that hid my tears of guilt. Was this how life was supposed to be? Only a year ago I was sitting in my bedroom playing with Malibu Barbie, my biggest worry being whether or not Ken would be on time for their date. Now my hands were stained with the invisible mark of a cold-blooded killer.

I put my hands under the run-off from a nearby gutter. Maybe I was trying to remove the past few hours; the past few hours that I barely remembered but knew the outcome of.

"Nothing can remove what you're feeling." A voice spoke up from behind me, "Well . . . almost nothing."

I turned to see a girl with black hair smiling at me, "Who are you?"

"My name is Indigo, the Goddess of Guilt and you look like you need to relax." She reached out and touched my wrist.

The guilt and pain faded away instantly. I felt good, I'd done what was needed and it turned out okay. I'm not sure how or what I did, but it sure made me happy. I smiled at the girl and then she let go.

I fell to my knees as sickness overtook me. The guilt flooded back as if a dam had been removed. I wretched on the ground as the memories came crashing back. I shakily pulled myself to my feet.

"What if-" Indigo stared at me, "What if I could get rid of your guilt? You certainly have a lot and much of it involves an old nemesis of mine, as well as a good friend. I think it's safe to say that you have more burdens than a young girl as yourself should hold."

She touched my hair and put her hand on my shoulder, "I can remove it all. Erase all the guilt. If you want."

Tears burst forth, "I didn't mean to. He killed my Daddy and I was just so angry. I was very, very angry. I wouldn't have ever done it. Oh God, I killed him."

She wrapped her arms around me and held me close, "Lucky you found me then. Just say the word and it's gone."

I looked into her eyes, hypnotized by the depth of them.

"What do I have to do? Please help me.", and the world went black.

I woke up a while later wrapped in a blanket and staring at Nick's face.

"Crystal? Talk to me."

"Nick. Nick, I feel funny."

"What?"

Then I leaned in and kissed him. A deep, long, guilt-free kiss.